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Post by jmilton on Feb 10, 2010 13:24:20 GMT -5
Hey everybody, check out my new Toyota keyboaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Post by Porscheguy on Feb 10, 2010 14:05:48 GMT -5
Hey everybody, check out my new Toyota keyboaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Toyota lawnmower.......
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
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Post by NorthStar on Feb 12, 2010 22:41:26 GMT -5
Hey, you remember that movie about Bruce Willis, what was it called? Hmmm... oh ya, Die Hard IV. I think it stands for "Live Free or Die Hard", yes that's it, that's the title.
Anywoo, this morning I just have to delete stuff from my computer, and did click on the "Delete" key. Well, this afternoon I'm looking for a new place to live, and new clothes to wear!
* By the way, that lawnmower video, just above, pretty cool I'd say. ;D
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1957
Minor Hero
Posts: 55
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Post by 1957 on Feb 14, 2010 11:40:57 GMT -5
Fartball*~*
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."
His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"
The old man replied, "It''s fart football."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I''m ahead 14 to 7."
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."
Now the pressure''s on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops in the bed.
The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"
The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."
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1957
Minor Hero
Posts: 55
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Post by 1957 on Feb 14, 2010 11:44:17 GMT -5
To prepare for his big date the young man went on top of the roof of his apartment building in order to get a little color for himself.
Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the buff. Unfortunately he fell asleep while on the roof and sunburned his Johnson.
Being very determined the young man decided not to miss his date, because she was a hot blonde. The blonde showed up for the date at his apartment, and the young man treated her to a home cooked dinner, after which they went into the living room to watch a movie.
During the movie, however the young man''s sunburn started acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused.
A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain, so he went to the kitchen, and poured a glass of milk. He then placed his sunburned member in the milk and experienced immediate relief.
The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to find him with his "tool" immersed in the glass of milk. With a look of sudden understanding the Blonde exclaimed,
"So that''s how you load those things! "
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1957
Minor Hero
Posts: 55
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Post by 1957 on Feb 14, 2010 11:48:04 GMT -5
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "In a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued... and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
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Post by NorthStar on Feb 14, 2010 23:02:23 GMT -5
Couple of Canucks playing horseshoes, eh. Ha! Calgary cowboys indeed.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2010 7:52:19 GMT -5
That really cracked me up! That is funny! even though you knew what was coming, that was funny indeed
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Post by bigred7078 on Feb 15, 2010 9:55:18 GMT -5
She must be Irish cause my penis is Dublin
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Post by Matt193 on Feb 15, 2010 11:10:54 GMT -5
She must be Irish cause my penis is Dublin ;D
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Feb 16, 2010 6:52:56 GMT -5
What!!! ...I need another shower.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2010 21:33:29 GMT -5
Redneck Powerball Jackpot Winner
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Feb 17, 2010 21:48:50 GMT -5
That looks a lot like outer Seattle.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2010 22:05:03 GMT -5
Yeah, like just south of Enumclaw. I especially like this one of a redneck condo. (very low HOA monthly dues)
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Post by 2infinity on Feb 17, 2010 22:27:41 GMT -5
Yeah, like just south of Enumclaw. I especially like this one of a redneck condo. I wonder if I can get the plans for that!
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Post by SticknStones on Feb 17, 2010 22:46:24 GMT -5
Yeah, like just south of Enumclaw. I especially like this one of a redneck condo. I wonder if I can get the plans for that! Not in my neighborhood! ;D
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Post by wowfactor on Feb 17, 2010 22:58:45 GMT -5
Whats the speed limit for sex? . . . 68, coz at 69 u have to turn around ;D
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Post by wowfactor on Feb 17, 2010 23:00:46 GMT -5
"Tiger and the Pope" The Pope and Tiger woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error. "However", the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified". Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat. "Sorry about the mix up", apologies the Pope "No problem" replied Tiger Woods, Pope: "I am really anxious to get to heaven" Tiger: "Why is that?" Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary" Tiger: "You're a day late"
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2010 1:35:56 GMT -5
"Tiger and the Pope" The Pope and Tiger woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error. "However", the clerk explains, "it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified". Next day the Pope is called and Hell's staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat. "Sorry about the mix up", apologies the Pope "No problem" replied Tiger Woods, Pope: "I am really anxious to get to heaven" Tiger: "Why is that?" Pope: "All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary" Tiger: "You're a day late" Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph. Wowfactor is going straight to hell after that joke! God have mercy on his soul.
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Post by roadrunner on Feb 18, 2010 2:43:42 GMT -5
Confucius Quotes:
Girl who spring on innerspring this spring Have off-spring next spring!
Girl who fly upside down Have hairy crack up!
Queer golfer have swinging good time Playing with balls!
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