novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
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Post by novisnick on May 22, 2021 13:38:33 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
|
Post by novisnick on May 23, 2021 12:02:50 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
|
Post by novisnick on May 25, 2021 0:46:49 GMT -5
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Post by The Mad Norseman on May 26, 2021 17:06:07 GMT -5
Rags to Riches!
Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoeshine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.
One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?" The man answered arrogantly, "Why are you so interested in that topic?" The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
"What’s your name?" asked the executive. “John H. Smith,” was the reply.
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Customer Department, “Do we have a client named John H. Smith?” "We certainly do,” answers the Customer Service Manager. "He is a high-net-worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account."
The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience."
At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members. "We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoeshine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can all learn from him."
Mr. Smith began his story... "I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail.
Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.
I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny. After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients.
I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent. A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place.
Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a Hooker in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."
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Post by The Mad Norseman on May 26, 2021 17:08:50 GMT -5
The Essentials of Estate Planning:
Dave was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.
Dave wanted two things:
• to learn how to invest his inheritance and, • to find a wife to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman obtained his business card. Two weeks later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men.
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Post by DavidR on May 30, 2021 9:02:51 GMT -5
Bad First Career Choices
Teddy Kennedy Limousine Service
Dick Cheney Guide Service
Michael Jackson Day Care Center
Rush Limbaugh Pain Management Center
Monica Lewinski Dry Cleaners
Willie Nelson Tax Service
Wesley Snipes Tax Service
Michael Tyson Financial Planning
Bobby Knight Anger Management Center
Halle Berry Driving School
Jesse Jackson Speech Therapy
Madalyn Murray O'Hair School of Divinity
Robert Blake Marriage Counseling
O. J. Simpson Marriage Counseling
Karen Carpenter School of the Culinary Arts
Ike Turner Women's Shelter
George W Bush Mensa Preparation Center
Star Jones Fitness Center
Hillary Clinton Charm School
William Jefferson Clinton Finishing School for Girls
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Post by Boomzilla on May 30, 2021 15:47:13 GMT -5
So THOSE are the businesses my retirement mutual fund has been buying!
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Post by DavidR on May 31, 2021 9:01:47 GMT -5
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Post by Boomzilla on May 31, 2021 18:44:09 GMT -5
This guy is driving down a country road, going about 30 since it's rutted. He looks out the window and sees a three-legged chicken running alongside - at 30 MPH! So the guy speeds up to about 45 and looks again - the chicken's still there. Suddenly the chicken hangs a left and runs into a barn. Intrigued, the guy pulls his car to a stop, backs up, gets out, and enters the barn where he meets an old farmer. The driver asks "did you just see a three legged chicken come through here?" The farmer replies "Yep - I raise them." The driver asks "why a three legged chicken," and the farmer replies - You like chicken legs? Yes. Your wife like chicken legs? Yes. You ever have a guest for dinner? The light goes on for the driver and he says "OK - I guess that makes sense now. What do they taste like?" Farmer says "I don't know - we never caught one."
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Post by DavidR on Jun 1, 2021 8:41:39 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jun 2, 2021 9:26:15 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
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Post by novisnick on Jun 2, 2021 22:09:17 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jun 3, 2021 8:25:39 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
|
Post by novisnick on Jun 4, 2021 0:08:58 GMT -5
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Post by adaboy on Jun 4, 2021 1:11:23 GMT -5
SMH David, now I've gone and ordered 2 of these shirts!!
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Post by DavidR on Jun 4, 2021 8:27:12 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
|
Post by novisnick on Jun 4, 2021 10:40:57 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jun 5, 2021 8:00:33 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jun 6, 2021 8:51:36 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jun 7, 2021 9:38:29 GMT -5
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