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Post by DavidR on Dec 20, 2018 10:39:49 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Dec 20, 2018 19:38:43 GMT -5
Wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
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Post by DavidR on Dec 20, 2018 23:24:54 GMT -5
About a Month before My Uncle passed away, his Nurse rubbed Lard all over his back.
After that, He went downhill fast...
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Post by DavidR on Dec 20, 2018 23:26:10 GMT -5
A BIT OF A PROBLEM? A thief broke into a house in mid-afternoon. He held the woman at knife point and tied her up and said, “Give me all your money and jewels and any other stuff you might have.” The man starts sobbing and says, “Brother take what you want, but please untie her and set her free.” The thief says, “You must really love your wife.” The man says, “No, she’s the neighbor’s wife and my wife will be home in about half an hour.”
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Post by DavidR on Dec 21, 2018 9:27:10 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Dec 21, 2018 20:01:11 GMT -5
The consensus after the election is that 100% of Americans think that 50% of Americans have lost their minds...
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Post by DavidR on Dec 21, 2018 20:03:07 GMT -5
When my Doctor tells me something is normal for my age I feel better, then I think that dying could be considered normal for my age...
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DYohn
Emo VIPs
Posts: 18,359
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Post by DYohn on Dec 22, 2018 16:24:40 GMT -5
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Post by simpleman68 on Dec 22, 2018 16:30:17 GMT -5
Sounds like some family dinners I've been part of in the past. Scott
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Post by DavidR on Dec 22, 2018 18:46:23 GMT -5
An Optimistic believes that we live in the best world...
A Pessimist is afraid that it might be true...
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Post by DavidR on Dec 22, 2018 18:47:07 GMT -5
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity...
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Post by DavidR on Dec 22, 2018 20:42:36 GMT -5
Are jellyfish sad that there are no peanut butter fish?
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Post by MusicHead on Dec 22, 2018 23:09:31 GMT -5
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Post by MusicHead on Dec 22, 2018 23:10:39 GMT -5
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Post by MusicHead on Dec 22, 2018 23:12:13 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Dec 23, 2018 9:34:43 GMT -5
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Post by dcg44s on Dec 23, 2018 17:39:03 GMT -5
I see a snowflake was here.
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Post by DavidR on Dec 24, 2018 9:30:35 GMT -5
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Post by mgbpuff on Dec 26, 2018 10:10:32 GMT -5
"A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2018 Mercedes-Benz GT, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-crapping' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “
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Post by DavidR on Dec 26, 2018 10:13:59 GMT -5
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