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Post by Boomzilla on Sept 4, 2012 20:16:10 GMT -5
The Book of Eli – minus infinity of 5 stars
Words can’t possibly describe how bad this movie is. This movie is so politically correct that I get nauseated just thinking about it, but I’m in the mood to write a movie review so I’ll just grit my teeth, swallow my bile, and be about it.
A ninja (!) who is black (!!) goes on a mission from God (!!!). Are we nauseated yet? Along the way, he encounters ultimate evil in the character played by Gary Oldman (who can play ultimate evil in his sleep and who, so far as I can tell, does so here). After receiving a mortal wound, our crusader makes it to the only bastion of learning and civilization left in the world, equivalent to the great ancient library of Alexandria, Egypt. This oasis is located in, where else,
(wait for it…)
.
.
.
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. CALIFORNIA (gag – retch – possible projectile vomiting)!
After regurgitating (choice of verb deliberate) his “treasure,” the text of the King James Bible (which the crusader admits may have been causal in the nuclear apocalypse that preceded the movie), the idiot expires.
You’d hope that this would at least be the merciful end to the movie, but NO – there’s more! His sidekick, Milla Kunis, becomes a ninjette and decides to walk east spreading divine retribution in her role as “the sword of the Lord!”
Truly awful. Impossibly awful. This may be the worst movie ever made. How big-name actors and actresses could possibly be involved in this dreck astounds me. Surely the likes of Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Jennifer Beals, and Milla Kunis have better scripts to choose from? Believe me when I say that the INTELLECTUAL content of this movie could have been doubled if Jennifer and Milla had spent their on-screen time skipping rope in the nude.
If you’ve never seen this movie, pat yourself on the back for your good luck and/or prescience. If you’re ever even remotely tempted to watch this movie, keep an airline barf bag close or just shoot yourself first and be done with it. I told you words couldn’t describe how bad this movie is, but at least I’ve tried…
Boomzilla
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Post by geebo on Sept 4, 2012 20:58:12 GMT -5
Wow. I feel bad for liking it now. But IMDb shows it as a 6.8 out of 10. Not exactly up there with Casablanca, but not that bad, either. Certainly more enjoyable than Clockwork.
I guess we shouldn't go to the movies together. ;D
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Post by Porscheguy on Sept 4, 2012 21:01:46 GMT -5
Meh, I didn't hate it, but I wasn't talking about it the next day either.....
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Post by paintedklown on Sept 4, 2012 21:09:18 GMT -5
I have to say that I really liked it. Then again, I am a Christian, and I felt the movies "message" was the the Bible is the most powerful book in the world, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.   |
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jamrock
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Post by jamrock on Sept 4, 2012 21:10:34 GMT -5
Movie rating is as subjective as "how you like your coffee" So, the OP negative opinion is no more valid that the guy who likes it and just can't stop watching it.
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Post by paintedklown on Sept 4, 2012 21:14:26 GMT -5
Movie rating is as subjective as "how you like your coffee" So, the OP negative opinion is no more valid that the guy who likes it and just can't stop watching it. +1 I consider movies, music, books, paintings, drawings, sculptures, statues, etc. all forms of art. Therefore, everyone is likely to have a differing opinion as not all art "speaks" to everyone in the same manner. It's all subjective...like speaker selection. ;D |
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Post by The Mad Norseman on Sept 4, 2012 21:25:12 GMT -5
The Book of Eli – minus infinity of 5 stars Words can’t possibly describe how bad this movie is. This movie is so politically correct that I get nauseated just thinking about it, but I’m in the mood to write a movie review so I’ll just grit my teeth, swallow my bile, and be about it. A ninja (!) who is black (!!) goes on a mission from God (!!!). Are we nauseated yet? Along the way, he encounters ultimate evil in the character played by Gary Oldman (who can play ultimate evil in his sleep and who, so far as I can tell, does so here). After receiving a mortal wound, our crusader makes it to the only bastion of learning and civilization left in the world, equivalent to the great ancient library of Alexandria, Egypt. This oasis is located in, where else, (wait for it…) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CALIFORNIA (gag – retch – possible projectile vomiting)! After regurgitating (choice of verb deliberate) his “treasure,” the text of the King James Bible (which the crusader admits may have been causal in the nuclear apocalypse that preceded the movie), the idiot expires. You’d hope that this would at least be the merciful end to the movie, but NO – there’s more! His sidekick, Milla Kunis, becomes a ninjette and decides to walk east spreading divine retribution in her role as “the sword of the Lord!” Truly awful. Impossibly awful. This may be the worst movie ever made. How big-name actors and actresses could possibly be involved in this dreck astounds me. Surely the likes of Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Jennifer Beals, and Milla Kunis have better scripts to choose from? Believe me when I say that the INTELLECTUAL content of this movie could have been doubled if Jennifer and Milla had spent their on-screen time skipping rope in the nude. If you’ve never seen this movie, pat yourself on the back for your good luck and/or prescience. If you’re ever even remotely tempted to watch this movie, keep an airline barf bag close or just shoot yourself first and be done with it. I told you words couldn’t describe how bad this movie is, but at least I’ve tried… Boomzilla Oh c'mon...it couldn't have been more nauseatingly politically correct than that truly awful WW I movie "Flyboys"! :-P~~~` |
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jamrock
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Post by jamrock on Sept 4, 2012 21:26:14 GMT -5
I have to say that I really liked it. Then again, I am a Christian, and I felt the movies "message" was the the Bible is the most powerful book in the world, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. NEVER apologize for who you are. I'm a glutton for action and special effects. I watch movies to be entertained, not to be intrigued. I have no time to guess the plot. Make me laugh. Make the good guy(s) win. Let the under dog triumph. Give it lots of deep bass, clear vocals and special effects and I'm as happy as a pig in warm mud. Ask me if I give a care about what anyone thinks about my taste for movies ;D |
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Post by paintedklown on Sept 4, 2012 21:29:35 GMT -5
I have to say that I really liked it. Then again, I am a Christian, and I felt the movies "message" was the the Bible is the most powerful book in the world, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. NEVER apologize for who you are. I'm a glutton for action and special effects. I watch movies to be entertained, not to be intrigued. I have no time to guess the plot. Make me laugh. Make the good guy(s) win. Let the under dog triumph. Give it lots of deep bass, clear vocals and special effects and I'm as happy as a pig in warm mud. Ask me if I give a care about what anyone thinks about my taste for movies ;D The reason for adding my "disclaimer" was because I will admittedly cut a movie some lack if I like what I feel is the message of the movie. Also comedies. I am not sure why but I will openly admit to liking "crappy" comedy movies if they make me laugh (think Rob Schnieder films). ;D ;D ;D Music on the other hand...is a completely different story. |
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Post by dust770 on Sept 4, 2012 22:04:42 GMT -5
I rather enjoyed this, but have to admit the Bible part was a bit lame to me. The rest was quite entertaining, some rockin gun scenes with great sound!
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Post by matt3400 on Sept 5, 2012 3:15:58 GMT -5
I've watched it twice so far.
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Post by scarface on Sept 5, 2012 4:37:53 GMT -5
When I watch a movie, I consider the sound and visual aspects of the film. I think the majority of folks on this forum own upscale systems that enhance the experience. Hell, I watch so-so movie all the time, but my system increases the rating! My XPAs can magically transform a negative rating into a 2 or 3 out of 5! With Some movies, nothing can rescue crappy crap, but great AQ/SQ help me enjoy more movies.
I really liked the movie...I'm just saying.
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Post by garbulky on Sept 5, 2012 4:53:00 GMT -5
When I watch a movie, I consider the sound and visual aspects of the film. I think the majority of folks on this forum own upscale systems that enhance the experience. Hell, I watch so-so movie all the time, but my system increases the rating! My XPAs can magically transform a negative rating into a 2 or 3 out of 5! With Some movies, nothing can rescue crappy crap, but great AQ/SQ help me enjoy more movies. I really liked the movie...I'm just saying. Transformers 2 was a great example of this. The movie itself wasn't good, probably the weakest of the three, but that sound on a good system was fantastic! |
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Post by jhayman on Sept 5, 2012 8:55:53 GMT -5
AND you forgot to mention the most important fact of the movie, was The Ninja was ....wait for it.....
BLIND and the Lord himself was showing him the way....and guiding that blade of his through the many pounds of flesh that stood in his way..
Oh and I actually liked it for what it was..sure like all movies there's always something stupid..
I much preferred the movie The Road which I think is a more realistic post apocalyptic movie..
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Post by SticknStones on Sept 5, 2012 9:11:07 GMT -5
I did like the movie and I am a fan of Denzel Washington and have been since I saw him in Glory. There are a few minor weak points in the script like Kunis becoming a ninja without any training. The things that I think the movie demonstrates well is when great tragedy strikes the basics become what is most important like food, water, and soap for that matter. Also, it shows that without the rule of law that people are capable of despicable acts. There are a lot of these type of films like waterworld, mad max, the road, I am legend, resident evil, The Omega Man, Planet of the Apes( way more over the top than book of eli) and I enjoy them for presenting their ideas.  |
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Post by red5ive on Sept 5, 2012 10:44:07 GMT -5
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DYohn
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Post by DYohn on Sept 5, 2012 10:54:16 GMT -5
I hated this movie too. Not because of any "political correctness" (I think the reviewer is seeing what he wants to see) but because it is just a bad script and a super weak story, with terrible direction and film-school cinematography. In fact the only thing I remember about it is how much I hated it.
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Post by The Mad Norseman on Sept 5, 2012 12:36:05 GMT -5
I've got the Blu-ray of "The Book of Eli" in my 'to be watched' queue, and have heard its close to demo material so I'm looking forward to it despite my reservations about its PC aspects... Someone above mentioned "The Road" as a good post-apocalypse movie, and I'd agree. In this movie they really never tell the viewer what exactly went wrong (a meteor hit somewhere?), but its clear SOMETHING ran afoul! And it all plays out in a desperate, bleak environment that few would even want to exist in. But a its very good movie! (Excellent audio & video as well on Blu-ray). Attachments:
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Post by Boomzilla on Sept 5, 2012 12:46:06 GMT -5
Denzel Washington was in it? I didn't notice. I don't even know what this movie was about.    To which I say AMEN, brother! I've admired Milla since her debut in "That 70's Show," which, by the way, was a very fun series. Another fun TV series that I've watched (twice) is "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." 'Twas my first intro to both Alyson Hannigan and Joss Wheadon, both of whose careers I've followed with glee. |
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