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Post by mgbpuff on Jul 24, 2018 16:06:24 GMT -5
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son: Dad, I want a motorcycle for my birthday.
Dad: No, son you are going to get a violin.
Son: But …
Dad: No buts, you’re getting a violin.
After six months of violin lessons, Dad asks for a recital -
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Post by novisnick on Jul 25, 2018 4:59:43 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jul 25, 2018 8:49:44 GMT -5
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Post by novisnick on Jul 25, 2018 22:25:45 GMT -5
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Post by novisnick on Jul 26, 2018 4:24:52 GMT -5
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Post by geebo on Jul 26, 2018 6:54:18 GMT -5
Things Confucius did dot say.....
Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.
Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Wise man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
And, Confucius Really Did Not Say...
A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!
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Post by DavidR on Jul 26, 2018 8:50:57 GMT -5
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Post by mgbpuff on Jul 27, 2018 6:56:16 GMT -5
I stopped by my local Ford Dealership this morning to look for a new truck. I saw a nice F-350 crew cab loaded with all the options that I liked and asked to take it for a test drive.
The salesperson (a lady wearing a Hillary for President lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its options. She explained that the Electric Seats were connected to the ventilation system and could be set to direct cool air to your butt in the summer & warm air to your butt in the winter.
So I mentioned that this must be a "Trump truck". She looked at me a bit angry, and asked why I thought it was a Trump truck. I told her that if it were a Hillary truck, the seats would just blow smoke up my ass year round.
The two mile walk back to the dealership to pick up my truck was worth it.
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Post by DavidR on Jul 27, 2018 8:11:23 GMT -5
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jul 27, 2018 19:45:02 GMT -5
Fishing bait comparison: My worm is not as long but has more girth.  |
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Post by DavidR on Jul 27, 2018 20:40:47 GMT -5
On the beach and talking about Chuckie's fish bait |
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Post by novisnick on Jul 27, 2018 23:57:23 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jul 28, 2018 9:49:51 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jul 29, 2018 8:45:57 GMT -5
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Post by mountain on Jul 29, 2018 9:20:07 GMT -5
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Post by adaboy on Jul 29, 2018 21:32:43 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Jul 29, 2018 22:31:53 GMT -5
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Post by Metaldude on Jul 29, 2018 22:33:02 GMT -5
BEER
I love BEER
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Post by adaboy on Jul 30, 2018 2:55:35 GMT -5
(I found this gem in the comments section over on Fox News)
Commercial airline pilot looks over at his
oriental co-pilot and says:
"I don't like Chinese people"
Co pilot asks: "Why not"?
Pilot says: "Because the Chinese attacked Pearl Harbor"
"No... no," says the co-pilot, "The Japanese attacked
Pearl Harbor, NOT the Chinese"
Pilot says "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"
There is silence on the flight deck for a while then the
co-pilot says "I don't rike Jews"
The pilot, who was Jewish replies: "Why not?"
"Because Jews sunk the Titanic!" replies the co-pilot
"What? That's absurd! An Iceberg sunk the Titanic!", says the pilot
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Rothberg.............. what's the difference?
Bada Bing
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Post by DavidR on Jul 30, 2018 9:21:14 GMT -5
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