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Post by DavidR on Sept 16, 2018 9:13:22 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Sept 16, 2018 10:08:20 GMT -5
God and Adam were just hanging out in the Garden of Eden...
Adam say's: "Lord, I've been noticing that all of the animals have "Mates", Can I have a Mate Too?
Yes Adam, but it will cost you an arm and a leg...
Adam ponders for awhile and asks: What can I get for a rib?
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Post by DavidR on Sept 17, 2018 9:02:52 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Sept 17, 2018 19:04:33 GMT -5
This is a conversation between a man and a woman.
Please note that she asked five or six questions, which he answered quite
simply, but then she was speechless after answering only one question.
Woman: “Do you drink beer?”
Man: “Yes.”
Woman: “How many beers a day?”
Man: “Usually about three.”
Woman: “How much do you pay per beer?”
Man: “Five dollars, which includes a tip.” (This is where it gets scary!)
Woman: “And how long have you been drinking?”
Man: “About 20 years, I suppose.”
Woman: “So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day, which puts
your spending each month at $450. In one year that would be approximately
$5,400, correct?”
Man: “Correct.”
Woman: “If in one year you spend $5,400, not accounting for inflation,
the past twenty years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?”
Man: “Correct.”
Woman: “Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money
could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and, after
accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could’ve by now
bought an airplane?”
Man: “Do you drink beer?”
Woman: “No.”
Man: “Where’s your airplane?”
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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2018 20:01:43 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Sept 17, 2018 22:19:52 GMT -5
doesnt john travolta do something strange with hamsters? |
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Post by novisnick on Sept 17, 2018 22:56:32 GMT -5
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Post by teaman on Sept 17, 2018 23:08:12 GMT -5
doesnt john travolta do something strange with hamsters? I thought that was Richard Gere? |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 17, 2018 23:40:08 GMT -5
doesnt john travolta do something strange with hamsters? I thought that was Michael Jackson. |
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Post by Gary Cook on Sept 18, 2018 0:28:04 GMT -5
doesnt john travolta do something strange with hamsters? I thought that was Richard Gere? and it was a gerbil   Cheers Gary |
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Post by novisnick on Sept 18, 2018 2:05:33 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Sept 18, 2018 9:48:11 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Sept 18, 2018 12:20:11 GMT -5
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy ... do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No ... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2018 23:20:00 GMT -5
I thought that was Richard Gere? and it was a gerbil Cheers Gary I don't give a rat's ass about your silly rodent photos! |
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Post by DavidR on Sept 19, 2018 0:07:31 GMT -5
Spouse of an Audiophile: Let me get this Straight, you spent $2,000 on a new set of Speaker Cables because "You can HEAR the difference ", yet you can't hear me CALLING you from the KITCHEN?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2018 1:02:31 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2018 1:08:45 GMT -5
Now here is an example of what I consider to be the classy lips of a sophisticated and lovely woman. (Her daily diet is fish heavy.)  (Facial identity of woman is partially disguised to protect the life of her spouse.) |
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Post by Gary Cook on Sept 19, 2018 1:30:15 GMT -5
I don't give a rat's ass about your silly rodent photos! Are you sure it's a rat's ass? You seem more of hamster guy to me.........  Cheers Gary |
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Post by sahmen on Sept 19, 2018 7:10:46 GMT -5
I don't give a rat's ass about your silly rodent photos! Are you sure it's a rat's ass? You seem more of hamster guy to me......... Cheers Gary Incidentally, a hamster guy will not be too far away from a hemster guy :  one, who enjoys some vinyl too, on occasion   |
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Post by DavidR on Sept 19, 2018 10:19:24 GMT -5
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