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Post by cleatus on Feb 18, 2010 10:12:28 GMT -5
man who walk thru turnstile sideways at airport
surley going to bangkok
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browe1967
Emo VIPs 
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Sounds more like a convenience store than a gov't agency!
Posts: 627
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Post by browe1967 on Feb 18, 2010 10:27:21 GMT -5
Confucious say,
He who go to bed with itchy bum,
wake up with stinky finger
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Post by jmilton on Feb 18, 2010 10:30:20 GMT -5
He who runs in front of car, gets tired.
He who runs behind car, gets exhausted.
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Post by wowfactor on Feb 18, 2010 12:50:48 GMT -5
A NEWFIE NAMED BOB IS DRIVING HOME AFTER DOWNING A FEW AT THE LOCAL PUB.
HE TURNS THE CORNER AND SEES A TREE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
HE SWERVES TO AVOID IT. HE REALIZES THERE'S ANOTHER DIRECTLY IN HIS PATH!
HE DISCOVERS HIS DRIVE HOME IS CAUSING HIM TO VEER FROM SIDE TO SIDE TO AVOID ALL THE TREES.
MOMENTS LATER HE HEARS A POLICE SIREN
AND STOPS HIS CAR.
THE OFFICER APPROACHES HIS CAR AND ASKS HIM WHAT ON EARTH IS HE DOING. BOB STARTS TO TELL THE STORY OF THE TREES ON THE ROAD.
THE OFFICER STOPS HIM IN MID-SENTENCE AND SAYS...
"FER CHRISE SAKES, BOB, THAT'S YER AIR FRESHENER!"
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Post by jmilton on Feb 19, 2010 14:27:54 GMT -5
Overheard from my evening with the Portland Symphony:  |
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Feb 23, 2010 22:39:00 GMT -5
 In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He aproached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why yes, I do know you Mr. Wiiliams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. Hecan't build a nomal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mentions, he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair." |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2010 19:07:32 GMT -5
 (Take off, you hosers!) |
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klinemj
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Official Emofest Scribe
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Post by klinemj on Feb 28, 2010 20:45:33 GMT -5
oh mercy...at least all 3 sticks are still visible...looks painful in any case.
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Feb 28, 2010 21:23:48 GMT -5
THat guy in the middle must be exhausted!
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browe1967
Emo VIPs
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Sounds more like a convenience store than a gov't agency!
Posts: 627
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Post by browe1967 on Feb 28, 2010 21:32:46 GMT -5
A little to the left,,,,,,,,,,,,OH there it is.....  |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 28, 2010 23:21:05 GMT -5
oh mercy...at least all 3 sticks are still visible Plus two invisible sticks. |
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
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Post by NorthStar on Mar 3, 2010 8:36:03 GMT -5
I got laid today ...I mean laid off!  |
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klinemj
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Posts: 15,082
Member is Online
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Post by klinemj on Mar 3, 2010 19:06:20 GMT -5
brings a new meaning to high sticking...
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Post by SticknStones on Mar 3, 2010 19:13:19 GMT -5
Well what we have here is what we call a real tough guy! ;D Practical jokes are seriously my favorite!  |
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Post by SticknStones on Mar 4, 2010 11:31:45 GMT -5
Ten bucks says they ain't gettin married. If I did this to my wife............ew boy one could only imagine! ;D  |
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Post by jmilton on Mar 4, 2010 11:39:02 GMT -5
...that guy is SO dead!!!!!!! |
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DYohn
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Posts: 18,485
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Post by DYohn on Mar 4, 2010 11:48:22 GMT -5
...that guy is SO dead!!!!!!! And a bastard. |
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
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Post by NorthStar on Mar 4, 2010 13:09:26 GMT -5
Cute chick tho.
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klinemj
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Posts: 15,082
Member is Online
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Post by klinemj on Mar 4, 2010 19:55:59 GMT -5
it's situations like that which led my wife and I to adopt a special plan for the "cake smashing" at our wedding reception. We got the maid of honor and best man to stand next to us for the traditional first bite of cake. Instead of smashing the cake into each other's faces, we got the maid of honor and best man. We got a roar of applause and many looks of shock...esp. from the best man and maid of honor!
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Mar 5, 2010 2:48:46 GMT -5
Sticknstones, where do you get all these crazy videos? Lol man.  |
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