Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2010 14:59:11 GMT -5
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Mar 30, 2010 15:12:53 GMT -5
You shmuck you deleted it! ;D ...I was only teasing you.  I figured if it offended you it must be just a little too much for some of the old guys that read this.  |
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Mar 30, 2010 15:14:49 GMT -5
Now if we could just get them all to do that. |
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Mar 31, 2010 15:36:56 GMT -5
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get some dinner."
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hemster
Global Moderator 
Particle Manufacturer
...still listening... still watching
Posts: 51,951
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Post by hemster on Apr 1, 2010 1:40:04 GMT -5
Real definitions! ;D
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.
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hemster
Global Moderator
Particle Manufacturer
...still listening... still watching
Posts: 51,951
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Post by hemster on Apr 1, 2010 1:42:34 GMT -5
Know your State's motto:
Alabama - Heck Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona - But It’s A Dry Heat.
Arkansas - Literacy Ain’t Everything.
California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut - Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.
Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida - Ask Us About Our Grandkids, and Home Of The Early Bird Special
Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois - Please, Don’t Pronounce the "S"
Indiana - 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas - First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana - We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine - We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi - Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.
Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada - Prostitutes and Poker!
New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!
New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon - Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal
Rhode Island - We’re Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee - The Edyoocashun State
Texas - Se Hablo Ingles
Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont - Ay, Yep
Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington - We Have More Rain Than You Do
West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin - Come Cut The Cheese!
Wyoming - Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
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Post by NorthStar on Apr 1, 2010 4:08:46 GMT -5
Went to the liquor store today to get some milk, end up with a dozen eggs instead.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2010 4:19:35 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D Hemster
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2010 4:46:40 GMT -5
It's medication time.  |
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Apr 1, 2010 6:23:40 GMT -5
^ For you?
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2010 14:04:15 GMT -5
A man shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago. He returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2010 21:06:56 GMT -5
Ntrain's computer where he writes all of his Lounge posts.  Note: HDMI #2 (hard dump movement interconnect) cable from commode to computer tower not visible in photo. |
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Apr 1, 2010 21:16:14 GMT -5
Brings a whole new meaning to "The lounge".  |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2010 0:40:37 GMT -5
The problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Apr 2, 2010 0:41:03 GMT -5
You shmuck you deleted it! ;D ...I was only teasing you. I figured if it offended you it must be just a little too much for some of the old guys that read this. Not bad, not bad thinking at all... ...Not 'offended' though, that is not the right word. ...More like petrify, stupefied, pulverized in my nonchalant 'vagabondage'. |
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Apr 2, 2010 0:59:33 GMT -5
Today I finally received my XPA-2 and XPA-5. ;D ...Gotta have some fun playing with my new toys!  |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2010 1:24:03 GMT -5
Have Gab move them around so you don't hurt your back.
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Apr 2, 2010 1:30:15 GMT -5
Lol, ya right, poor girl.
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Post by Mike Ronesia on Apr 2, 2010 18:11:40 GMT -5
I figured if it offended you it must be just a little too much for some of the old guys that read this. Not bad, not bad thinking at all... ...Not 'offended' though, that is not the right word. ...More like petrify, stupefied, pulverized in my nonchalant 'vagabondage'. You didn't laugh? |
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NorthStar
Seeker Of Truth
"And it stoned me to my soul" - Van Morrison
Posts: 0
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Post by NorthStar on Apr 2, 2010 21:05:27 GMT -5
Not bad, not bad thinking at all... ...Not 'offended' though, that is not the right word. ...More like petrify, stupefied, pulverized in my nonchalant 'vagabondage'. You didn't laugh? Nope. Did you? |
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