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Post by sahmen on Apr 3, 2020 1:04:12 GMT -5
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Post by sahmen on Apr 3, 2020 1:07:38 GMT -5
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Post by sahmen on Apr 3, 2020 1:09:45 GMT -5
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Post by mgbpuff on Apr 3, 2020 8:17:06 GMT -5
The government has called on retired nuns to help enforce social distancing. View AttachmentNeeds two yardsticks - supposed to be 6 feet. Obviously she gets between two people and starts swinging; ergo, 6 ft. of separation. duh!
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Post by DavidR on Apr 3, 2020 9:18:51 GMT -5
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Post by mgbpuff on Apr 3, 2020 9:20:46 GMT -5
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Post by mgbpuff on Apr 3, 2020 9:33:08 GMT -5
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Post by Jean Genie on Apr 3, 2020 10:44:11 GMT -5
My wife yelled from the bedroom, "Do you ever get a sharp, pain in your chest, like someone is stabbing a voodoo doll of you?" Curious but wary I responded, "...err, no" To which she replied, "How about now?" šš·š
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Post by DavidR on Apr 3, 2020 17:57:33 GMT -5
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
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Post by DavidR on Apr 4, 2020 9:34:52 GMT -5
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DYohn
Emo VIPs
Posts: 18,348
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Post by DYohn on Apr 4, 2020 10:36:07 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
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Post by novisnick on Apr 4, 2020 13:37:16 GMT -5
My wife yelled from the bedroom, "Do you ever get a sharp, pain in your chest, like someone is stabbing a voodoo doll of you?" Curious but wary I responded, "...err, no" To which she replied, "How about now?" šš·š
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
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Post by novisnick on Apr 4, 2020 13:38:08 GMT -5
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Post by Boomzilla on Apr 4, 2020 14:37:01 GMT -5
Guy 1: What's the difference between toilet paper and a window curtain?
Guy 2: I don't know, what?
Guy 1: AH-HA - It was YOU!!!
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Post by SteveH on Apr 4, 2020 14:49:49 GMT -5
My wife yelled from the bedroom, "Do you ever get a sharp, pain in your chest, like someone is stabbing a voodoo doll of you?" Curious but wary I responded, "...err, no" To which she replied, "How about now?" šš·š Haha! I got this at a White Elephant Christmas party years ago. I do occasionally threaten my boss with it!
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Post by dcg44s on Apr 4, 2020 21:41:52 GMT -5
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novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,223
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Post by novisnick on Apr 5, 2020 0:42:07 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Apr 5, 2020 8:38:57 GMT -5
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Post by DavidR on Apr 5, 2020 13:17:55 GMT -5
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Post by annjones13 on Apr 5, 2020 13:33:36 GMT -5
Thank goodness my grandmother had newspaper available... But that outhouse was cold, hot, drafty, and fragrant Also a new hole had to be dug every few years. Iām old enough that I drove a car for six months that I started with a crank. It was quite reliable Ann
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