stiehl11
Emo VIPs
Give me available light!
Posts: 7,261
|
Post by stiehl11 on Jul 8, 2021 13:17:13 GMT -5
|
|
stiehl11
Emo VIPs
Give me available light!
Posts: 7,261
|
Post by stiehl11 on Jul 8, 2021 13:18:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 9, 2021 8:21:08 GMT -5
THE CHAUFFEUR A young man with walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just absolutely hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. You don't know how much I hate accepting money for doing nothing. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing but I'll take my check please." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You will have to drive around in his 2021 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's, beautiful and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, but you started it." .....
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 10, 2021 9:59:33 GMT -5
|
|
novisnick
EmoPhile
CEO Secret Monoblock Society
Posts: 27,230
|
Post by novisnick on Jul 11, 2021 11:44:03 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 12, 2021 9:52:57 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2021 11:10:20 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by monkumonku on Jul 12, 2021 13:05:53 GMT -5
Tube humor (or maybe not) Attachments:
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 12, 2021 13:55:08 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by 405x5 on Jul 12, 2021 16:29:00 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 13, 2021 9:46:31 GMT -5
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to rent a larger house However, he was having a lot of difficulties finding a new place to house his family. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place. He couldn't say he had no children because he couldn't lie; we all know lawyers cannot and do not lie. So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids. He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes and the price was right -- the agent asked “How many children do you have?” He answered: "Twelve.” The agent asked, "Where are the others?" The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look, answered, "They're in the cemetery with their mother." MORAL: It's not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words ...and don't forget, many of our politicians went to school to become lawyers!
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 15, 2021 9:49:14 GMT -5
Guy walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whisky. Bartender asks, "Are you sure?" "Yup", says the man and starts drinking one after the other. "You best slow down there pardner" says the barkeep. Man says, nope I got to try and drink all these before the trouble starts." "What trouble?" says the barkeep. "I ain't got no money," says the man after the last shot.
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 16, 2021 7:55:57 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2021 10:37:12 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 18, 2021 11:19:07 GMT -5
Just finishing up with the 3rd Vol. of Understanding Women. I'm beginning to think there is one of these books for each woman on the planet.
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 20, 2021 9:11:48 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 21, 2021 8:20:17 GMT -5
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2021 11:01:55 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by housetech on Jul 21, 2021 12:30:15 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by DavidR on Jul 21, 2021 13:09:45 GMT -5
|
|