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Post by SteveH on Jul 11, 2024 20:48:40 GMT -5
Here is a tough one.  |
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Post by novisnick on Jul 12, 2024 11:13:50 GMT -5
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DYohn
Emo VIPs 
Posts: 18,489
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Post by DYohn on Jul 12, 2024 16:12:30 GMT -5
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Post by novisnick on Jul 17, 2024 20:56:22 GMT -5
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DYohn
Emo VIPs
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Post by DYohn on Jul 18, 2024 11:41:10 GMT -5
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Post by 405x5 on Jul 18, 2024 17:05:37 GMT -5
I keep telling my wife we have to conduct a séance in order to bring George Carlin back to life! (I wish!) |
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KeithL
Administrator 
Posts: 10,273
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Post by KeithL on Jul 19, 2024 15:36:01 GMT -5
George Carlin was awesome... and I still miss him... although there are still a few comedians around who aren't afraid to be a little "offensive"... But.... remember the episode of Married With Children where Sam Kinnison was Al's "guardian angel"...? Now THAT's a classic... And who here remembers Jose Jiminez (Bill Dana's character) ? I keep telling my wife we have to conduct a séance in order to bring George Carlin back to life! (I wish!) |
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ttocs
Global Moderator
I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with. (Elwood P Dowd)
Posts: 8,162
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Post by ttocs on Jul 19, 2024 15:44:24 GMT -5
And who here remembers Jose Jiminez (Bill Dana's character) ? Me! I worked with Bill for a week on some segments for Real People. He told so many great stories about the old shows he was on, or wrote for, or produced, etc, especially Get Smart! edit: My favorite of the Jose Jimenez skits was on the Steve Allen Show, which is where he created the character while being a writer on the show, was the Submarine Officer skit. |
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Post by geebo on Jul 19, 2024 16:51:54 GMT -5
George Carlin was awesome... and I still miss him... although there are still a few comedians around who aren't afraid to be a little "offensive"... But.... remember the episode of Married With Children where Sam Kinnison was Al's "guardian angel"...? Now THAT's a classic... And who here remembers Jose Jiminez (Bill Dana's character) ? I keep telling my wife we have to conduct a séance in order to bring George Carlin back to life! (I wish!) I remember Jose well. |
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Post by vcautokid on Jul 20, 2024 10:34:48 GMT -5
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Post by simpleman68 on Jul 20, 2024 12:56:56 GMT -5
More like 41 yr old Escort. Looks like an '83 if memory serves. I had a few mid 80s Escorts; slow but good on gas because I got the 4 cyl diesel (built by Mazda I think)
Scott
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Post by tropicallutefisk on Jul 22, 2024 8:22:17 GMT -5
More like 41 yr old Escort. Looks like an '83 if memory serves. I had a few mid 80s Escorts; slow but good on gas because I got the 4 cyl diesel (built by Mazda I think)
Scott
In HS I worked at a Fleet Farm tire shop. One day a guy came in and wanted our "performance" tires on his Escort. I had no idea why he'd put our most expensive tires on his little 4 banger. My manager assured me this guy knew what he wanted and was making a decent decision. Apparently he was a gear head that liked making unassuming cars go very fast. This was the 80s so a bit before the craze started. He did show us what that car could do after we were done. It did indeed haul A... Unfortunately I don't remember every thing he did to it, but with the hood down it looked stock and boring. |
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klinemj
Emo VIPs
Official Emofest Scribe
Posts: 15,092
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Post by klinemj on Jul 22, 2024 13:04:42 GMT -5
A guy walks into a bar just as a very pretty nun is walking out. He tries hitting on her to get a kiss but she refuses and leaves. When he gets to the bar, he tells the guy tending bar "wow - she's hot! I'd love to have sex with her!"
The bartender says, "well, here's how...go to the cemetary after dark dressed as God. She goes there to pray every night. Tell her that she's been chosen to have sex with you and she will"
So, he does...he finds her and tells he she's been chosen. She promptly bends over, hikes up her habit, and he has his way with her from behind.
Then, he rips off his costume and says "ha, ha...I fooled you! I'm the guy from the bar!"
"She" rips of her habit, and says "Ha, ha! I am the one who fooled you...I'm the bartender!"
Enjoy,
Mark
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klinemj
Emo VIPs
Official Emofest Scribe
Posts: 15,092
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Post by klinemj on Jul 22, 2024 14:56:16 GMT -5
A woman from New York was driving through Arizona and her car broke down. A native American came by on his horse and offered her a ride. She got on the horse behind him.
As they rode along, every so often, he yelled "YEEEEE-HAAAHHHHH!" really loudly.
They came to a service station and he again yelled "YEEEEE-HAAAHHHHH!" really loudly. Then he dropped her off at the station.
The attendant asked "what did you do to get him to yell that?"
She said - "nothing...I was just riding along with my arms around his waist and holding the saddle horn".
The attendant said..."Ma'am...natives don't use a saddle"
Enjoy!
Mark
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Post by cwmcobra on Jul 23, 2024 15:27:50 GMT -5
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Post by Boomzilla on Jul 24, 2024 14:02:37 GMT -5
I saw a big vacuum truck today that made me laugh. It was lettered:
"New Orleans Grease Trap Cleaning - WE SUCK!"
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Post by cwmcobra on Jul 26, 2024 10:37:37 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Jul 31, 2024 9:43:36 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Aug 5, 2024 19:45:40 GMT -5
Report: Adding Insult To Injury, Satan Told Eve Her Fig Leaf Made Her Look Fat. Satan has been banned from the Garden of Eden for 40 days, and is referred to counseling at the 'Wokeness Is Next To Godliness' counseling agency for reeducation concerning fig leaf shaming.
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Post by PaulBe on Aug 5, 2024 19:47:05 GMT -5
Report: Geezer Too Senile To Stand Trial Now To Redefine Supreme Court
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