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Post by PaulBe on Mar 12, 2024 12:21:01 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 15, 2024 6:39:52 GMT -5
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.."How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot.
The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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DYohn
Emo VIPs 
Posts: 18,489
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Post by DYohn on Mar 15, 2024 12:25:13 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 15, 2024 21:50:04 GMT -5
A man was praying, "Lord, I read in 2 Peter that to You a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like a day." "That's right," said the Lord, "he got that from Psalm 90." "Well, what are a million years like to You?" the man asked. "One second," said the Lord. "Wow," said the man, "well, what are a million dollars like to You?" "One penny," said the Lord. The man thought for a moment. "Lord...?" he asked, "could you spare me a penny?" The Lord said, "Sure, just a second."
Patience is a virtue.......
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Post by gus4emo on Mar 17, 2024 17:32:27 GMT -5
Hi, nice to beat you....
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DYohn
Emo VIPs
Posts: 18,489
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Post by DYohn on Mar 18, 2024 16:46:35 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 23, 2024 12:17:18 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Mar 23, 2024 13:20:53 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Mar 23, 2024 13:24:34 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 23, 2024 13:56:04 GMT -5
I have reached the age where I can't tell if I sustained an injury or that's just how I am now...
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 23, 2024 14:03:44 GMT -5
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Post by gus4emo on Mar 23, 2024 15:12:29 GMT -5
I have reached the age where I can't tell if I sustained an injury or that's just how I am now... Old age is not for wimps.....😂 |
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 25, 2024 6:59:33 GMT -5
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Post by tropicallutefisk on Mar 25, 2024 13:22:41 GMT -5
Pigs swim in the Bahamas. Just sayin'... |
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Post by novisnick on Mar 26, 2024 16:42:09 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 27, 2024 15:29:00 GMT -5
Animals are never boaring  |
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 28, 2024 8:30:09 GMT -5
Dogs!  |
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Post by gus4emo on Mar 29, 2024 17:49:00 GMT -5
Do you know why they do that? There was a big party for dogs only, but they had to check their butts in before entering the party......two hours later there was a fire engulfing the whole place, the dogs started running out, taking the first butt they could, not knowing if it was their own.... So now they sniff each other's butts to find out if it's theirs.... |
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Post by PaulBe on Mar 31, 2024 20:00:40 GMT -5
 Now That's an earworm... |
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Post by gus4emo on Apr 1, 2024 13:27:25 GMT -5
Do you know why they do that? There was a big party for dogs only, but they had to check their butts in before entering the party......two hours later there was a fire engulfing the whole place, the dogs started running out, taking the first butt they could, not knowing if it was their own.... So now they sniff each other's butts to find out if it's theirs.... Again... |
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