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Post by gus4emo on Sept 24, 2024 16:01:59 GMT -5
Why did the farmer bury his money??
He wanted to have rich soil.....
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Post by vcautokid on Sept 25, 2024 21:39:50 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Sept 25, 2024 22:07:00 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Sept 26, 2024 3:19:48 GMT -5
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DYohn
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Posts: 18,452
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Post by DYohn on Sept 26, 2024 14:25:10 GMT -5
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Post by marcl on Sept 26, 2024 14:30:39 GMT -5
Is that down the road from Flustercluck?
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klinemj
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Honorary Emofest Scribe
Posts: 14,938
Member is Online
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Post by klinemj on Oct 1, 2024 7:49:33 GMT -5
A woman asks her husband at breakfast time,"Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?" He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."
At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something. "How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "Its really spoiled my need for food."
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "No," he says, "it's got to be the Viagra. I'm still not hungry."
"Well," she says, "Would you mind getting off me? I'm bloody starving."
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Post by vcautokid on Oct 1, 2024 21:50:30 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Oct 1, 2024 22:03:22 GMT -5
Okay the slide was free. What the actual??!!
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DYohn
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Posts: 18,452
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Post by DYohn on Oct 4, 2024 13:59:21 GMT -5
A man was sitting at a bar staring at his drink when a large, troublemaking biker sits next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The troublemakers says, “Well, whatcha gonna do about it?” The man suddenly burst into tears. “Oh, come on, man,” the troublemaker biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I hate seeing a grown man cry.” “This is the worst day of my life,” the man said. “I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. I go to the parking lot to go home and my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener, and then my dog bites me. So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to my life. I buy a drink; I drop a capsule of poison into my drink. As I sit here watching the poison dissolve, you show up and drink my entire drink!" Then he looks at the troublemaker and said, "Enough about me, how’s your day going?”
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geebo
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"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are driving taxicabs and cutting hair"
Posts: 24,464
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Post by geebo on Oct 4, 2024 14:18:08 GMT -5
So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?"
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DYohn
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Posts: 18,452
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Post by DYohn on Oct 4, 2024 14:33:16 GMT -5
So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" So a rabbi, a priest and a horse walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
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Post by gus4emo on Oct 4, 2024 18:28:52 GMT -5
Why did the band get a turkey??
Because the turkey has the drumsticks....
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