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Post by PaulBe on Oct 12, 2024 20:48:25 GMT -5
Sign at my favorite family restaurant:
"You don't have to be crazy to work here. We will train you."
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Post by gus4emo on Oct 14, 2024 11:52:26 GMT -5
What do cats say when they are about to break up??
Mee-out
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 14, 2024 12:54:27 GMT -5
To the lady who flipped me off when I honked at you,
Your phone probably isn't on top of your car anymore...
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 16, 2024 7:58:06 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 16, 2024 7:59:49 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 16, 2024 8:07:23 GMT -5
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 16, 2024 8:11:28 GMT -5
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Post by adaboy on Oct 16, 2024 12:50:05 GMT -5
That cat was gone to the wind  |
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 16, 2024 13:45:55 GMT -5
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klinemj
Emo VIPs 
Official Emofest Scribe
Posts: 15,063
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Post by klinemj on Oct 18, 2024 6:28:26 GMT -5
A blonde wins a boat in a raffle and brings it home. Her husband says "what will you do with a boat? There's no water around for over 100 miles!" She says, "I won it, and I'm keeping it" Her sister, also blonde, comes to visit. Nobody comes to the door, so she walks around back and sees her sister sitting in the boat in the middle of a field with a fishing pole hanging off the side of the boat. She yells to her sister..."hey, what are you doing" The sister yells back "I'm fishing" Her sister yells back "you idiot...it's things like this that make people say blondes are stupid! If I could swim, I'd swim out there and kick your @$$"  Mark |
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Post by PaulBe on Oct 18, 2024 6:58:34 GMT -5
A blonde wins a boat in a raffle and brings it home. Her husband says "what will you do with a boat? There's no water around for over 100 miles!" She says, "I won it, and I'm keeping it" Her sister, also blonde, comes to visit. Nobody comes to the door, so she walks around back and sees her sister sitting in the boat in the middle of a field with a fishing pole hanging off the side of the boat. She yells to her sister..."hey, what are you doing" The sister yells back "I'm fishing" Her sister yells back "you idiot...it's things like this that make people say blondes are stupid! If I could swim, I'd swim out there and kick your @$$" Mark I want to know how she got the worm on the hook... |
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Post by gus4emo on Oct 19, 2024 13:59:22 GMT -5
A blonde wins a boat in a raffle and brings it home. Her husband says "what will you do with a boat? There's no water around for over 100 miles!" She says, "I won it, and I'm keeping it" Her sister, also blonde, comes to visit. Nobody comes to the door, so she walks around back and sees her sister sitting in the boat in the middle of a field with a fishing pole hanging off the side of the boat. She yells to her sister..."hey, what are you doing" The sister yells back "I'm fishing" Her sister yells back "you idiot...it's things like this that make people say blondes are stupid! If I could swim, I'd swim out there and kick your @$$" Mark I want to know how she got the worm on the hook... She is the worm.... |
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klinemj
Emo VIPs
Official Emofest Scribe
Posts: 15,063
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Post by klinemj on Oct 20, 2024 6:43:43 GMT -5
A group is on a tour of a latex factory, and the tour guide takes them by a machine that's making a hissing sound followed by a pop and explains the machine is making baby bottle nipples. A guy asked what the sounds were. The guide says "The hiss is air filling the mold to form the nipple and the pop is a needle popping the hole in the end" At the next machine, the guide explains "This is the condom machine". People notice there's a hissing sound, and every now and then there's a pop. A guy asks "what's that intermittent pop?" The guide says "that's the same as the baby nipple machine, but it only puts a hole in 1 out of 10" The guy says "that can't be good for the condom" The guide says "true - but it's great for the baby bottle nipple business" |
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klinemj
Emo VIPs
Official Emofest Scribe
Posts: 15,063
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Post by klinemj on Oct 20, 2024 12:45:24 GMT -5
Back to fishing...
2 men were out fishing when a funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. 1 of them stood up to hold his hat over his heart as the hearse passed. His buddy said, "Gee, Tom, that was really nice. Tom said "Well, after all we were married 40 years."
Mark
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DYohn
Emo VIPs
Posts: 18,481
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Post by DYohn on Oct 20, 2024 13:14:05 GMT -5
A guy sits at a table in a restaurant. He asks the waitress, "Can I ask you about the menu, please?" The waitress replies, "The men I please are none of your business, bub."
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DYohn
Emo VIPs
Posts: 18,481
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Post by DYohn on Oct 24, 2024 10:18:04 GMT -5
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Post by monkumonku on Oct 25, 2024 23:38:07 GMT -5
.  |
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Post by vcautokid on Oct 27, 2024 12:28:29 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Oct 27, 2024 12:29:33 GMT -5
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Post by vcautokid on Oct 27, 2024 12:30:35 GMT -5
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